Tricky Treats
by legalliz
Summary: A Halloween one-shot with our favorite duo.


_Disclaimer: All the familiar characters belong to the delightful Janet Evanovich. Just borrowing them for a little holiday fun._

I'm not sure why I said it. It was just one of those weird responses like when people ask how you're doing and you automatically say "fine." Even if you're more along the lines of "worst day of my life" at the time. Silly auto responses.

And I knew that I'd made a big mistake as soon as the word escaped my mouth. Because even though it's unlikely the world _actually_ stopped turning, it sure felt like it. Everything just froze. Quite possibly even the molecules in the air. At least until the corner of his mouth turned up in one of those playfully mischievous grins. Yikes!

My name is Stephanie Plum, and right now I'm in some serious trouble. Not like my usual trouble that involves ill-fated attempts at chasing down public delinquents to ensure they uphold their end of their bond agreement. Bond enforcement. It's a real riot. Not to mention my current profession.

No, this type of trouble seems to be an ongoing problem of mine. One that refuses to leave me alone no matter how many times I try to make the decision to get rid of it. Probably because most of the time, I don't really _want_ to get rid of it. But in my defense, _it_ looks and smells delicious. The guy, that is. Not the trouble.

Could be they're one and the same. It's kind of hard to tell because every time I'm around the guy, my mind takes a mini vacation and leaves the key under the doormat for all my irresponsible hormones to move in. And the worst part? He totally knows this. Which is probably why he asked that infernal question in the first place. _Trick or Treat_? Seriously? What was I _supposed_ to say?

Yeah, yeah. Treat was probably the safer choice. Maybe he had a donut hidden behind his back or some of those cute little mini candy bars. But all I could think about when I saw him was how much _he_ looked like a treat with his perfect mocha skin and eyes that looked like melted chocolate. So I was like, nope, not gonna go _there_. That only left the one other option. So without considering the consequences, I went and blurted it out.

Good grief! Now I have a trick to look forward to. And not just _any_ trick. A _Ranger_ trick. And judging by the intensity of the eyes still focused on me, it's probably going to be something I'm going to regret later. Once I've stopped fantasizing about it.

"Can we just rewind things a little and try a different greeting?" I asked after several moments of uncomfortable silence. For me anyway. Ranger hardly ever looked uncomfortable.

"No." His mouth twitched into one of those almost-smiles.

"So I'm stuck with my choice then?"

"Yep." A hint of something devilish flickered behind his eyes. It gave me some panicky tummy flutters along with one serious hot flash.

"Ok then." I turned on my heel and started walking away until I realized I had no particular destination in mind. It's always embarrassing when that sort of thing happens. Especially when your mind's too flustered to think up a quick fake destination. So I did a mental sigh, turned back around, and decided to face the humiliating consequences.

Ranger just stood watching me with that continued hint of amusement. Except I do stupid things like this all the time. So he really should be used to it by now.

"You know," I said, "we haven't gotten to the part about why you stopped by in the first place."

The hint of a smile disappeared. "I've got a job for you."

I thought for a moment. Jobs with Ranger could be a little…interesting. "Thanks, but rent's already covered for the month, and my luck hasn't been all that great lately. Think I'll pass."

He shrugged. "If you say so. But if you change your mind, it's a 5K job."

My ears perked slightly. "Five _thousand_?" I quickly did the math and realized the obvious. Only a crazy person would turn down a five thousand dollar payday. Especially one that involves working alongside Mr. Trick-or-Treat himself. No doubt he knew it was an offer I couldn't refuse.

"But like you said, your rent's covered. I'm sure we can manage without you."

I rolled my eyes. "Alright, quit with the reverse psychology already. I'll do it."

"Perfect." He reached for my arm and yanked me toward him. I stumbled forward slightly before colliding into his very muscular chest. Pretty sure that was the intended effect. Because the next thing I knew, he was leaning down to give me one of his classic bone-melting kisses.

He pulled back slightly and grinned. "Should've gone with the treat, babe."

Don't I know it.

"So what's the job?" I asked once I'd managed to float back to reality.

"Party crashing."

"You mean _Halloween_ party crashing."

"Sure."

I thought for a minute. "There's a costume involved, isn't there?" It was more a statement than a question.

"Perhaps."

I rolled my eyes again. "Ever notice how all the Halloween costumes for women look a little…"

"Provocative?"

"I was thinking more along the lines of slutty."

His mouth twitched. "Lucky coincidence."

I punched him in the shoulder. He barely reacted.

"I guess you could always go as a crayon or a sandwich or something. Costumes with a little more fabric involved."

"Well, alright then. Crayon it is. Do I have color options?"

"Probably. But if you go with the crayon, there's the possibility we might not get paid."

I narrowed my eyes. "And why would that be?"

"You don't exactly have an invite to the club we need access to. The crayon outfit might not be your best ticket in."

I blew out a sigh. "And you have a costume in mind that would guarantee access to the club."

"Let's just say it's _very_ promising."

I stared at him a long while before I finally caved. "Ok. When does this indecent club outing take place?"

"Tonight. I'll swing by a quarter to seven to help you get into costume."

I gave him a look. "Thanks, but I'm sure I can manage."

He shrugged. "Whatever you say, babe." He gave me one final kiss before disappearing out the door.

I spent the remainder of the morning and the rest of the afternoon trying to guess where a Ranger trick might fit into all of this. With any luck, it would be confined to the mystery costume.

Ever punctual, Ranger showed up fifteen minutes before seven. On the dot. I was just finishing my hearty dinner of crackers and the emergency snickers from my purse. Ranger eyed the empty candy wrapper on the counter.

"What?" I asked defensively. "It's got three of the five basic food groups."

He raised an eyebrow. "And those might be?"

"Protein, carbs, and dairy." I had the list ready because I'd had this debate with myself a few times before.

"The nuts, the sugar, and you'll have to explain how you reasoned the dairy."

"It's _milk_ chocolate," I smiled.

His mouth twitched. "Of course."

He handed me a bag that I assumed was my costume for the evening. I hesitantly took it and decided not to open it until I was alone in my bedroom. That way I could roll my eyes and cringe in privacy.

"I'm not going to regret this, am I?"

Ranger grinned. "Only one way to find out."

I marched down the hall and shut my door and locked it with enough dramatic emphasis to make it perfectly clear that I wanted to dress alone. Of course, locks never stopped Ranger. Hopefully he was in the mood to humor me today.

I pulled out the pieces of the black costume and frowned. Guess I was going as a cat this evening. A cat with a short black skirt, black fish-net stockings, four-inch FMP's, and black satiny gloves. Sexy, seductive cat more like. Good grief!

Halfway through the dressing process, I was really starting to regret my decision to help this evening. At least the black fabric _mostly_ covered the important bits. But that was about it. And I was seriously hoping I wouldn't have to bend over for anything. Could cause quite the commotion.

After the costume was more or less in place, I tiptoed like the stealthy cat I now was to the bathroom to mess with my hair and makeup. I left my hair a little unruly and added some extra eyeliner and mascara to enhance the brightness of my blue eyes behind the feathered black mask I would be wearing. Then I pulled the triangular ear headband on and glossed my lips. Yowza!

With the way I was looking, I decided it might be prudent to cover up a little. At least until we got to our intended destination. I grabbed an old boxy trench coat from my closet and double-knotted the tie. Just to be safe. Then I casually made my way out to the living room. Ranger was sitting on my outdated couch checking emails on his fancy phone.

He paused and gave me a full-body scan before twitching a small smile. "Don't remember that jacket being in the bag."

I shrugged. "I was cold."

His chocolatey eyes darkened a little. "Are you still cold?"

I swallowed hard and shook my head. "Nope. Guess the jacket did the trick."

Ranger got up, grabbed my hand, and pulled me toward the door. "Best get going then. We've got a bit of a drive."

Turns out the club was in Manhattan. The Provocateur. Yeah, the name had me more than a little worried.

"It's a very high-end night club," Ranger explained as we neared our destination. "And our target's rumored to be making a stop there this evening. Name's Dominic Romano." He handed me a photo. "Your job's to get him to leave the building for a minute or two. Time enough to for my guys to slap some cuffs on him without making too much of a scene."

I raised an eyebrow. "And you thought _I'd_ be the best qualified for this? When have you known me _not_ to make a scene?"

"Babe."

We pulled into a lot a couple blocks away. A black SUV pulled out of a parking spot, and we strategically pulled in. Convenient parking. Just one of the many Rangeman company perks.

Ranger looked me over. "Lose the jacket, babe."

I frowned slightly before reaching for the double-knotted tie. My fingers fumbled with it nervously before Ranger leaned over and kissed me. His hands slid seductively over mine, but it wasn't long before I forgot what his hands were doing. My mind was too busy short-circuiting from the kiss.

He leaned back and gave me one of his 200 watt smiles. "All set."

I glanced down. The jacket was gone, and I had a small spider-shaped pin just above my left breast. "What's this?" I asked pointing to the pin.

"Cordless mic," Ranger stated. "Cute, huh? Tracker's on the other side."

I briefly turned away in an effort to check myself discreetly. Sure enough. The tracker was in place under my right breast. Holy crap! How did he manage _that_?

Ranger slipped me a card. "Hand this to the guy at the door. He owes me a favor."

I raised an eyebrow. "What about my costume being my ticket inside?"

"I lied."

"You mean I could've worn the crayon outfit?"

"Probably not."

I frowned. "You tricked me!"

"How else was I going to convince you to wear this… _inspiring_ cat costume?"

I rolled my eyes. "You're walking some very thin ice, mister." I put the black mask on, and Ranger handed me my earpiece.

"Go get 'em, tiger."

As instructed, I handed the card to the man at the door, and he nodded me inside. The place was crazy fancy and _way_ out of my comfort zone. Fortunately all the costumes helped. Well, not mine exactly. But I could handle it. I made my way over to the bar and started scanning the room. No sign of Mr. Romano.

I listened to the music and ordered a fruity drink. A few minutes later, a zoot-suited dude caught my attention. I gave him a few subtle glances before deciding I'd finally found my fish. Now it was time to bait him and reel him in.

I grabbed my drink and started casually making my way over to him. Fortunately, he seemed distracted by all the action on the dance floor. Two steps away from my intended target, I tripped and slammed into him, strategically spilling the remaining contents of my drink on his suit.

"I'm _so_ sorry," I apologized. I pulled one of my gloves off and started dabbing at the dripping liquid.

Dominic caught my hand, and I had a brief, stomach-dropping moment of panic. "My fault," he offered. He took the glove and finished wiping off what he could. When he handed it back, he looked me over. "Never seen you here before."

"I'm in town visiting a friend," I lied, flashing him my winning smile. "They hooked me up with the invite."

He gave a subtle smile back. "Nice friend."

Wily, devious friend was more like it.

"I like your costume," I flirted.

"Thanks." He glanced down. "I had it hand-tailored."

I couldn't put my finger on it, but something was feeling off about Mr. Dominic Romano.

"You come here often?" I asked in an effort to keep the conversation going.

"Just occasionally. Sometimes all the music gives me a headache."

A guy from the dance floor gave me a look and started making his way over. Mr. Construction Worker. He winked at me.

"Hey pretty kitty. Wanna join me for a dance?" He reached for my hand, and I quickly pulled it away.

"Thanks, but I'm good for now. Maybe later." Or never.

"Aw, c'mon. Just one dance." He aggressively reached for my arms and started dragging me toward the dance floor.

"No, really," I grunted, struggling to back up. Sky-high heels apparently aren't the best for good traction.

"Quit messing around. I know you're just playing hard to get."

Dominic cut over to us and gave Mr. Construction a hard shove. "I believe the lady said no," he growled, stepping between the two of us.

Obviously not wanting to make a scene, Mr. Construction slowly backed away. "Whatever," he muttered.

Dominic shook his head. "Men can be such brutes."

"Tell me about it." I smiled over at him. "Thanks for coming to my rescue."

"My pleasure."

I decided now was probably a good time to make my move. "I'm kinda getting hungry. Want to go grab a bite to eat somewhere? I hear the Manhattan food options are endless."

"Oh. I'm sorry. I thought you knew." He looked a little sheepish.

"Knew what?"

"I mean, you're _very_ beautiful. But I…well, let's just say you're not my type."

Of course! Why hadn't I seen it sooner? Dominic Romano was playing for the other team. Well this sure made things…interesting.

"Well, I feel embarrassed."

"Please don't. I feel flattered. Honest."

I smiled. "Well, best of luck on your evening. Enjoy the party."

I slipped away into the growing crowd. "You guys catch all that?" I asked discreetly into my mic. "Looks like someone may have missed some vital background info. But don't worry, I think I've got a plan. Just send in someone who can play the aggressive, doesn't-take-no-for-answer type."

Ten minutes later, Ranger stepped into the room. Probably should have been a little more specific about who to send in. And although it could have been my imagination, it seemed like the whole room fell silent at his entrance. Probably had to do with the costume. He was shirtless like a freakin' Chippendale's dancer with a very sexy black mask. Oh boy.

While nearly every woman in the room was debating how to approach him, he casually made is way over to the bar and grabbed a quick drink. I stayed within eyeshot of Dominic and waited for Ranger to make his move.

In true Ranger fashion, he snuck up behind me and wrapped a possessive arm around my mid-section. "Here kitty-kitty," he purred in my ear. My mind was trying to remind me I had a mission to complete, but my body was having an extremely difficult time staying focused.

I cleared my throat slightly to regain some composure. "Excuse me," I snapped, suddenly spinning around. "I would appreciate it if you'd respect my personal space." Something an awful lot like "liar, liar pants on fire" echoed in my head. Our eyes held for a moment, and I was worried my last statement lacked the conviction I had intended.

Ranger didn't waste a moment. He leaned in and stole a forceful kiss. I willed myself to stay in character. Fortunately my hand obeyed, and it reeled back and slapped him in the face. He caught my arm and pulled me to him. "I like the feisty ones," he growled. Funny, so did I…

Thankfully Dominic played his chivalrous part perfectly. He walked over to us and glared at Ranger. "Leave her alone, man."

Ranger looked over at him. "Stay out of this," he said darkly while rising to his full, intimidating stature.

"Sorry, but I can't. So I think it would be best for everyone if you just shook this off and went on your way."

"You gonna make me?"

"If I have to," Dominic opened his suit jacket slightly to expose what appeared to be a knife. My heart stopped. I hadn't expected weapons.

Ranger scowled but eventually backed off. "Catch ya later, kitty cat," he said with a wink before disappearing into the crowd.

Dominic looked over at me. "Maybe you should just call it a night. You seem to be attracting some pretty scary guys."

I nodded. "Probably not a bad idea." Then I bit my lip nervously. "Mind walking me out to my car? I don't want Mr. Chippendale trying anything again. He seemed kind of…persistent."

Dominic chuckled. "Sure."

We made our way across the dance floor to the exit. The cool night air gave me a shiver, and Dominic pulled off his jacket.

"Here," he offered.

Aw, jeez. Now I was starting to feel bad for the guy. Here he'd stuck up for me twice tonight, and I was about to thank him by hauling his chivalrous butt off to jail. Oh well. Hopefully he deserved it.

We were just about back to the parking lot when I got a slight tingle. An arm reached out from behind us and tapped Dominic on the shoulder. He turned around and caught one of Ranger's fists right in his face. Then it was light's out for Dominic.

Two Rangeman guys suddenly appeared out of the shadows and hauled him away to a nearby black SUV. I gave Ranger a look.

"Was that really necessary?" I asked. "He was kind of nice."

"Appearances can be deceiving, babe."

"Oh?"

A now fully-clothed Ranger slung an arm over my shoulder after strategically removing the zoot suit jacket. The contact of his skin on mine made me completely forget how cold it was outside.

"Let's just say I was keeping a very close eye on you. Romano's been known to be a bit…unpredictable."

"Do I want to know _how_ unpredictable?"

"Probably not."

Yikes.

We made our way back to Ranger's Porsche and climbed in. There was a small box waiting for me on my seat.

"What' this?" I asked eyeing it curiously.

"Why don't you open it?"

I popped the lid and grinned. It was a beautiful slice of the one and only New York cheesecake. Yum!

Ranger handed me a fork. "You handled the job and the costume trick so well that I thought you probably deserved the treat too."

I glanced down at the dessert. It was perfect. I'd gotten my trick _and_ my treat. And yet for some crazy reason I was completely unable to enjoy it. Ok, so I totally knew the reason. My mind was still stuck on my night at the Provocateur. More specifically the moment Mr. Drop Dead Sexy said "here kitty-kitty" in my ear. I now was stuck on a completely different kind of treat.

Ranger glanced over at me. "Everything ok with the cheesecake, babe?"

"Yep," I blurted, still trying to reign in my hormones. "Just fine. Cheesecake's fine."

By the time we made it back to my apartment, I still hadn't touched the cheesecake. _Highly_ unusual for a dessert glutton like myself. Ranger walked me to my door and made a face.

"You feeling ok?" he asked. "Your cheeks are flushed."

Probably from all the hot flashes I'd had on the car ride back…

"Oh yeah, that. It's probably nothing." Spontaneous combustion's no big deal, right?

Ranger followed me inside, and I was half tempted to lock the door and drag him down the hall to my bedroom. Instead I grabbed a glass of water and tried to muster some serious self-control. The water didn't help, so I forked a giant bite of cheesecake into my mouth.

"You sure you're ok?" Ranger asked again.

"Yeph," I replied, my mouth still full of cheesecake.

"Babe."

"It's not my fault," I finally whined in protest.

"What isn't?"

"My hormone problem!" I blurted. "That's all _your_ fault. You just _had_ to be the one to come in to the club in that…that… _almost_ costume!"

Ranger took a few steps toward me. " _Almost_ costume?"

"As in _almost_ decent."

He shrugged. "I've never had any complaints before."

I rolled my eyes. "Of course you haven't! Have you _seen_ you?"

Ranger smirked. "Babe."

I was suddenly very aware of how close he was. Probably because it felt like all my molecular matter was suddenly being sucked into his all-consuming vortex. There was probably an emergency escape plan floating somewhere in the back of my mind, but I decided I wasn't very interested in finding it anymore.

Ranger caught my hand and slid off one of the satiny gloves. He brushed his lips across the back of my hand, and I practically melted on the spot. "Got a question for you, babe," he said leaning in _very_ close.

"Oh?"

"Trick or Treat?" he whispered in my ear.

No way was I falling for _that_ one again. "Treat," I answered cleverly.

He brushed his lips across mine. "Good choice."

Maybe. But I had an even better idea in mind.

"Tell you what," I added with a wicked grin. "You give me a treat, and I'll come up with some fun tricks."

His wolf grin suddenly appeared. "Deal."


End file.
